Feeling satisfied with your frugal life

Sometimes I feel weird about being so frugal. Sometimes I feel embarrassed and don't want people to know how frugal I am. I think part of that is because we really have to be frugal to live comfortably on Kevin's teacher salary. But I don't like it when I feel that way. It is all about choices and these are the choices we have made, so I should be happy and proud of them.

Last night I broke out the Complete Tightwad Gazette again - every fall and winter I get the itch to read through this wonderful book again. I have taken to just flipping to random pages and reading wherever I land. It is too predictable for me to just read straight through I guess. Last night after reading a page or two from where I flipped I came across her article How To Avoid Feeling Deprived (p 232). This looked like something I needed to read.

Dacyczyn says that there are 3 points to consider to overcome the feelings of deprivation.

First, recognize that you are engaging in the discipline out of choice. You decided to give up something so that you can have something else.

Hmm, that sounds good to me. I chose to be frugal and do things like hang my laundry, cook from scratch, not eat out much, have no car payment (even though I desparately want a new car) and keep our heat low, not because I can't afford those things, but because if I want to afford other things like having Emma in gymnastics and the kids in other activities I need to cut somewhere in my budget. Being frugal allows me to afford the things that I consider important for my children.

Second, as you cut back, give up expenses in the order of the ones that provide the least value for dollars spent.

As you can see from my example above, using my dryer is lower on the priority list than having my kids be active in sports and things. Other people will have a different order of things. Maybe they really value buying new clothing instead of used, so they don't eat out to accomodate for that in their budget. Not everyone is frugal because they have to be, we don't have to be anymore. But we are frugal because we want to be able to do things that our budget would not allow for if we weren't frugal. Basically, living a frugal lifestyle allows us some extras that we wouldn't be able to afford if I weren't frugal.

Third, do not compare your economic situation to those of
others.

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I think this is true in most situations. Every person's situation is different and as hard as it may be, comparing ourselves to others usually just makes us feel worse. Other people are making different choices than I am. Even other frugal people are going to be frugal is different areas than us.

Life is about choices and realizing that your behavior is a choice that you have made should help us to not feel guilty, weird or embarrassed by our behavior. The things we do are our choices and we should be proud of them. After reading this article and thinking over things more I am satisfied with the choices we have made. My choices may change over the years and that is fine. They may even change each month and that is OK too.

As I move through this month working our way through this challenge of 31 days of nothing, I will have to remember that this challenge is a choice I have made to help us get ahead financially a little bit. We do not have to do this, it is our choice, and I will be proud of it.